Eventually, we got 'er done. The entirely dead tree was dead long enough to be beetle-free so we had that one cut into 16" round to be split for firewood later. The not-entirely dead tree probably still has beetles, so we had it taken away. They cut it into 16" rounds, so I imagine they're going to sell it as firewood. I just hope they don't sell it to someone with pines on their property.
Cutting down big trees cost big bucks, so we're trying to rid ourselves of the stumps some other way. Luckily they cut them really close to the ground and level, and the forest is a fine place to see a stump or two, so while we figure that out they're not such a horrible eyesore as they might be in town. Hopefully, this technique I found online will work: Drill holes in the stump, add Epsom salts and water. I read it could take anywhere from one month to a year. We shall see.
Next up: The driveway. How do I know? It's already happened.