A really tragic thing happened not too far from my recently-left home in Portland today. I still stream Oregon Public Broadcasting on my internet radio, because I just don't like the lineup on Montana Public Radio and so I heard the news unfold, even on the national news, as I was wrapping Christmas presents.
I have said via Facebook and to some people that I am feeling two, opposite things: the desire to be back among so many of my loved ones so I can count them and hug them and talk through all this with them while at the same time I am glad I am "so far" away. I know senseless violence can happen anywhere, but today it didn't happen here.
There are so many little bits and odd ends in my head. We hear gun shots daily here; we live right on the National Forest, it's a few dozen yards from our door at most, and it's hunting season. We walked just a short way into the forest a few days ago and ran into our next door neighbors out hunting after work/school and before dinner. The dogs wear blaze orange things on their collars every day so they aren't mistaken for shoot-able animals. I'm this same woman, in this new context and today my old context is fighting with my new one a little bit and giving me more things to think about than I'd rather.
It's times like this that we are reminded about that balance between paying attention to Life-with-a-capital-L and paying attention "my life." I'm going to focus more on the latter tonight, this photo is going to help me.